Lightbulbs give you cancer
Oh wait, energy saving lightbulbs will give you skin cancer (and migraines, and eczema, and dizziness).
If they continue at this rate they will classify 936 objects into cancer causing or cancer curing in 2008. That’s not counting the Mail on Sunday.
I may have bitten off more than I can chew.
Filed under: cause cancer, jenny hope, Mail | 20 Comments
Tags: cause cancer, energy saving lightbulbs
Running Totals
OK I am off on holiday, I will leave you with a running total. While I am gone feel free to add any Mail cancer stories in the comments.
Cure Cancer: laughing.
Cause Cancer: nano particles, obesity, sugary drinks, alcohol, bacon, ham, processed meats, salt, saturated fat, sugar, energy saving lightbulbs.
Filed under: cause cancer, cure cancer, Mail | 5 Comments
Tags: running total
Do I Look Like I Am Laughing?
Shit. What have I taken on? They do actually run a cancer story every day. We have our 1st cancer cure of the new year. Laugh your way to health, “happy women may be at lower risk of problems such as heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure and obesity.” But not if you are a man, which is me fucked then.
Good job as I am a miserable cunt anyway.
Filed under: cure cancer, Mail | 4 Comments
Tags: cure cancer, laughing
Cancer Watch Day 3
3 days into the new year and we are still waiting for the Mail’s 1st miracle cancer cure story. In the mean time they tide us over by warning us of 3 more cancer causing evils to add to the list: salt, saturated fat, sugar.
Now to be fair to them it is a fairly sensible, non-hysterical article. Lets hope if their Cancer obsession continues we get more factual articles like this and less of the nanohysteria.
Filed under: cause cancer, Mail | 2 Comments
Tags: cause cancer, salt, saturated fat, sugar
In an article on Bowel Cancer tests the Mail couldn’t resist sifting through some more substances and splitting them into cancer curing and cancer causing.
To be filed under cancer causing: obesity, sugary drinks, alcohol, bacon, ham, and other processed meats.
But it’s not all bad, they do reveal the important new news that fresh fruit and vegetables are good for you.
Almost enough for a Venn diagram.
Filed under: cause cancer, cure cancer, david derbyshire, Mail | 5 Comments
Tags: alcohol, bacon, cause cancer, fresh fruit, ham, obesity, sugary drinks, vegetables
A beautifully confused article from the Daily Mail to kick off the new year. Nano particles, are they awesome or or are they evil?
Well I don’t really care, I just want to know if they are going to give me cancer but Sean Poulter the old tease waits till the final paragraph before telling us.
“Some nano particles are known to mimic the harmful effects of asbestos on the lungs. Consequently, they have the potential to trigger lung cancer if inhaled.”
So first on the list of things to cause cancer in 2008: Nano particles. But it isn’t all bad apparently thanks to the wonders of nano technology we can look forward to Willy Wonka chewing gum, though disappointingly the Mail doesn’t tell us whether this is likely to turn us into a (cancer curing) blueberry.
Judging by this article The Mail is eyeing up Nano Particles as the next “frankenstein foods” but wants to keep the option open of filling its health pages with glowing reports on the inevitable tide of bullshit “Nano health supplements” that are surely on the way.
Can’t wait.
Filed under: cause cancer, Mail, sean poulter | 29 Comments
Tags: cause cancer, frankenstein foods, nano, sean poulter
Hello.
3 words to make your heart sink:
The Daily Mail.
If you have perused its pages lately you may have noticed that alongside the usual stuff about asylum seekers, house prices, and single mothers it has been running a strange project cataloguing all the worlds inanimate objects into those that cure, and those that cause cancer. This blog will follow its progress through 2008 and may occasionally present its findings in the form of a pretty Venn diagram.
Obviously no normal human could possibly read the Daily Mail every day so if you see a Daily Mail cancer story please email it to oncologicalontologyproject AT googlemail.com.
Filed under: Mail | 5 Comments
Tags: daily mail
The Daily Mail Oncological Ontology Project 